Friday, December 30, 2011

The state of customer service: Are we really okay with this?

This being the dawn of a new year, people are likely to make resolutions and set goals to complete for the next 12 months.  I'm not one for resolutions but I do create a list in my head of bullet points I'd like to work on in some way.  No pressure, more gain being the rationale.

One of my main bullet points is to provide better customer service at work.  This is reflective of the absolutely awful customer service I've recently received.  I figure start with what I provide, then encourage others to change.

A while back the customer service paradigm shifted from 'the customer is always right' to 'the customer isn't always right, but we will do our best'.  Yay.  Unrealistic customer expectations happen, not all can be resolved.  The problem is that the paradigm shifted further almost to 'what makes you think you're right just because you bought goods or services from us? You will now receive a condescending reply from us.  Please leave.'
Customer service needs to be restored to the a paradigm that encourages retailers and service providers to strive to please the customer while cushioning them from unrealistic or aggressive patrons.  Service with a smile.  Polite, concise service with results.

Think back to recent customer service experiences you've had.  Was it satisfactory?  Allow me to share two recent experiences with you:

Best Buy
I went to Best Buy a few days ago to purchase a new oven because mine is old/busted/no worky.  After selecting one and a new dishwasher, the customer service agent took my money, explained a few things (in that order) about delivery, etc. and confirmed that both appliances would be delivered on 12/29.  I explained that I had to be very careful with my work schedule and that the delivery date had to be fixed in stone.  He confirmed that yes, I would have both appliances delivered and installed on this day.  Nothing wrong so far, right?  The evening of the 28th I received a call from the delivery company confirming the delivery of each (both, so two) appliance the next day.  I awoke to a contrary phone call yesterday morning.  It went something like this 'Yes ma'am I'm just calling to let you know your dishwasher will still be on the truck today but your range will not.  You need to call Best Buy because it's so far on backorder we have no idea when we will even get it so good luck'.  Then she proceeded to chuckle.  To say I was irate like a pent-up honey badger would be an understatement.  I waited until Best Buy was open and contacted the service manager in the appliance department.  She told me that I should be aware that my oven is a special order (special? It was sitting in your showroom.  Seems pretty ordinary) and that it would be upward of a month before it would be delivered.  She said I was aware of this and that I will need to arrange delivery once it has arrived.  She was peaches and cream about this, 'natch.  I took a deep breath and let her know that I was unaware it was a special order and offered that it practically takes an Order from Zeus to grant me a day off of work to sit around and wait for a delivery.  I need this to be delivered on a Saturday.  She said 'oh no problem.  We're looking at probably a February delivery I would think but we are at the mercy of LG so no one really knows.  Just tell your delivery driver who brings the dishwasher what you want and he will make it happen'.  UM.  Wait, what?  Aren't you a manager? Don't you 'make things happen'?  Aren't delivery drivers overworked and given very little authority to do this kind of thing?
So of course I spoke to the delivery driver about it.  He told me that since I purchased two appliances on one  ticket, I was entitled to one delivery and installation only.  He added (while I was steaming like broccoli in the microwave) that the installation would be at a charge and not on a weekend unless I was alright with the upcharge.
EXCUSE ME?
Between the time of the phone exchange and the delivery driver insult I'd surfed the interwebz (as I should've done before making the purchase) for customer service complaints on Best Buy.  MAN.  The boards are rife with complaints about Best Buy overselling items to be delivered then cancelling or postponing deliveries.  Phrases such as 'thanks for ruining Christmas' abound. 
My personal issue has yet to be resolved as I have not been able to reach the appliances customer service manager again.  The item in question is actually on backorder at LG but that's not the problem.  I don't really care if I have to wait.  It's what I want and were I to cancel the order to buy it from another store, I'd be thrust even further down the waiting list.  The issue is the customer service, the inaccuracies and lack of care to please the customer. 
Had I written this yesterday, there would've been expletives and slightly more descriptive phrases involved.

Had I not had this experience, the next probably wouldn't have mattered.  My favorite clothing store is Anthropologie.  I don't dress straight out of their catalog but I love their wares and buy from them.  On 12/21 I bought a sale item from their website.  My purchase went through, Paypal extracted money from my account and I received an order confirmation.  Yesterday I received an email that my order had been cancelled.  No indication that my money would be refunded, just that the order had been cancelled.  I called customer service (which nauseated me at this point) only to find that their stock department had been on holiday, the item was oversold, they didn't have it and that I'd get my money back.  I asked why it took a full week and she said that they were on holiday.  No apology, no offer to improve my experience.  WTF???  You have a functioning website, you have stock, why do these happen?  The money hasn't been credited back to Paypal yet either (not that I can see and I checked about 10 minutes ago).

These are only two examples but they are from major retailers around the holidays.  They should have their acts together, this is unacceptable.  If you sell goods or services, especially during a high volume period, you had better be able to fulfill all of your orders.  If not, get out of the business or change something.  No lenience should be given to large corporations like this.  They get tax breaks, they make money hand-over-fist yet they provide a craptastic customer experience in doing it?  I'd prefer to pay a premium to a small retailer in exchange for quality service.  I will not order anything for delivery again through Best Buy and I will not purchase anything from Anthropologie's ill-managed website.

Happy New Year.... in advance! :)

Here is Zooey Deschanel and Joseph Gordon-Levitt to serenade you!


Friday, December 23, 2011

If you have a disability or medical condition and are traveling, use this number for help with the TSA

It's About Effing Time!  The TSA has launched a new site/hotline called TSA Cares to help those with disabilities and medical conditions safely navigate TSA-related events with their dignity intact.  I sincerely hope that this is a successful, well-managed program which reflects the fore-thought and planning put into it by the caring, knowledgeable individuals at it's helm.  Having said that, you know I'll be commenting all over the place when it falls to shit.  Sincerely, I hope it doesn't and that it helps people out.  (but who are we kidding? It's the government.)

Here is the official TSA page


Holiday YAYs and BOOs

HAPPY CHRISTMAS AND HAPPY HANNUKAH TO ALL OF YOU, EVERYWHERE! 
May you have everyone and everything you need and want with you in this holiday season.  I wish you peace and love for all of your days.

And now onto my yays and boos, conveniently packaged in a bulleted list:

YAYS:
  • pretty sparkling lights
  • Hot Cocoa
  • Peppermint mixed with Chocolate in EVERYTHING even candles, YAY!
  • holiday tunes (Michael Buble, The Chieftans, Bing Crosby, etc)
  • cars wearing antlers and red noses
  • people who usually don't smile sometimes actually do! :)
  • good food
  • making complicated holiday recipes that I find on Epicurious and Food Network dot com
  • watching sketchy mall santas make children cry
  • The vigor with which  two of my gay friends attack the holiday season.  If I could ever harness one tenth of their zest for the holidays or their energy, I would probably win an Oscar for something.  Not sure what, but an Oscar would be involved.
  • Christmas trees. I LOVE CHRISTMAS TREES
  • Holiday candles, air fresheners and basically every holiday scent known to man, especially those at Bath and Body Works.  Their chocolate peppermint candle is great but their Winter fragrance is the Bombdiggity and I have 4 of them burning in my house when I'm home (hopefully not when I'm not at home)
  • booze
  • bedazzled grannies (cuz ain't they just festive in their colorful sweaters and jingle bells??)
  • Christmas specials on TV (Christmas Vacation, I love you!)
  • A full day off of work!  (which I took off - YAY Boxing Day!)
  • making gifts that family members can't return  >:)
  • zoidberging people in holiday texts  (zoidberg is a failed lobster doctor on Futurama.)  This is a zoidberg: (\/) (;,,,;) (\/)
Oh crap.  I think I dated this guy back in the day.  [stop mocking me.  Quit Laughing! HEY!]


BOOS:
  • the neighbor's ridiculous, garish Christmas display complete with a Cowboy-boot wearing, PJ clad (buttflap down, if you were curious) singing-Santa WHICH I WANT TO BLOW UP WITH C4.
  • holiday tunes (damn my ears Mariah Carey, country artists I never listen to anyway and failed American Idol contestants who will never be relevant - no, your sad, lame redux of 'baby it's cold outside' will not bring you into even the faintest glow of real celebrity so please go away)
    • With special consideration to be given to Josh Groban, a.k.a. The Most Depressing Voice In The World.  It's Just So Bad.  Really.  Ever sit back and listen to a song with your eyes closed and note the images in your head playing along with the music?  In every single such instance regarding a Josh Groban song my mind drums up a video not unlike some derivation of Pink Floyd's The Wall except there are shots of people watching their loved ones die melded with armies of cute little puppies flinging themselves off of tall buildings onto sharp, up-ended steak knives swirling together with images of small children setting their parents gleefully aflame.
  • people driving cars bedecked with antlers and red noses:  they are intent on their mission, focused on their plan and Be Damned red lights, pedestrians or errant cars who DARE to invade their driving lanes!
  • Bedazzled Grannies.  Perhaps the most insufferable of holiday shoppers, they: clog doorways (can't remember why you wanted to enter this store? Kindly move. MOVE out of the doorway, JUST EFFING MOVE ALREADY!), pull out their checkbook only after the shopgirl has finished ringing up AND wrapping their order, and will pull an item out of your hand with their gnarled, arthritic claws.  Seriously, granny?  Ring those jingle bells hanging from your ridiculously stretched out earlobes one more time, I will strangle you. Kindly give me back the Last Gray Sweater in Men's Large that I had in my hands NAOW.  Will anyone really begrudge me a granny-throttling?
  • Eggnog.  Eggnog is disgusting.  It's gross, it has a horrible texture and tastes bad.  Just give me the rum.
  • Compulsory office pot-luck.  Everyone brings a dish and between patients we get to run in, fill a plate, mechanically wish each other happy holidays and eat either in our offices or over the trash can in the breakroom which is the best vantage point for seeing the check-in desk and whether we have a patient waiting for us (no lunch breaks except on Mondays).  It would be one thing if the office were convivial but it is not.
  • Pandora's limit on 'thumbs down'-ing songs.  I hit my limit (of AI rejects and spent country stars) on my holiday mix and now I have to listen to Harry Connick Jr. sing Ave Maria (which was played at my parent's funeral.  Not HC's version.  It was actually sung a capella by an operatic tenor, but I digress).  
  • Anthony Bourdain's Holiday Special.  Fuck you and your snotty, elitist friends.  
To balance some Sweet with your Sour, here's the cutest damned baby polar bear you ever will see:

Now if you will excuse me, I am scouring the internet for a holiday deal for The Perfect Flask to pack for our Disneyworld Adventure in February!  (wonder if 'Disney's Magical Express will stop at a liquor store en route?  Meh, I'll just put some flavored vodka in my suitcase.  What could possibly go wrong?)

I leave you with Simon's Cat in Santa Claws :)